Nine Billion Bicycles

Today.

It turns out it was a profound day. It was a day of action and new ways of thinking and moving and doing.

But of course it did not start this way.

At 2AM I was awakened suddenly. There was Lindsay Lohan sitting there in my bedroom. Her and Caroson Daly, just talking away... she looked gorgeous and I thought so to myself before deciding that it's not worth it to be gorgeous when it takes so much work and upkeep. I thought, at that painful hour, that I'd rather be wise than beautiful because, well, wisdom has it's own beauty. But more of that later because it was 2AM and Lindsay and Carson were chatting and I was wondering why I'd had to wake up in the first place?

Well - here's why: a toothache. Fine. Hadn't woke up to one of those in many weeks but I suppose that simply means I was due - so here we were. I fumbled for the pain medication chanting my usual chorus of "Please God, the pain, the pain the pain". It's bad to be in charge of your own pain medicine when you are in pain because you never trust one little pill to do a job as big as your pain seems to require... so I took two.

Which was GREAT for sleeping - I mean that was one DEEP sleep I had last night! Hallelujah!

I woke up a drunkard when my alarm went off to Idina's annoying little voice singing "Tryyy defying gravity, I think I'll Trrryyyy defying gravity" over and over because I can no longer download new ringtones and that's the most mellow one I could find for my cellphone alarmclock. I mean it - I was drunky drunk and I new it as soon as I stood up and did pirouettes over to the bathroom then made a face like a fish and giggled out loud.

From there on I stumbled, literally, to the kitchen where mom was rearranging the freezer to accomodate un-humanly large tubs of cookie dough that Kiersten sold some poor stinkers. I hopped up and down a few times then decided SOMEone had to take a stand for my brand new frozen spinach flour wraps that were not zipped up properly.

"I don't pay money for my food to get shoved aroundddd!" was what came out of my mouth - followed by a giggle.

That really did me nothing but get mom mad at me for dropping a tub of cookie dough in the "save the spinach" process/speech and for talking and waking everyone up although, really, I don't think I woke ANYone up. In fact I think SHE woke someone up when she went and roused Kiersten adn said, "Go sleep on my bed so you can get some sleep"... anyone else amused by that scenario and sentance?

Well. I am. And Iwas this morning too because I had another giggle and a little soutenu to go with it. Then realizing mom was mad and didn't even know I was a drunkard I started to cry in front of the kitchen sink. It was a very satisfying cry... I just kept pouching out my lip - a classic pouty face - and making sobby noises. All in all I think I was actually just very entertained by myself and so kept doing the crying thing (continued as I moved into the bathroom to get ready for work, only was now interspersed with little jumps and giggles in front of the mirror, along with frank assessments of my body).

Once in the shower I figured if I didn't begin to sober/wake up I would have to call in late to work. Trust me - drunk me did not even trust drunk me with the car keys. In the shower I scrubbed until I began to really feel quite sick... so I dry heaved for a while and then... felt better.

Made toad in the hole and off to work I went.

The school morning had a lovely start - maybe lingering effect of meds - but I was just the best teacher in the world this morning. No act of evil could deter my spirits as I dutifully set up child after child with activity and then returned them to the said activity when something like a speck of glitter on the floor caught their eye and demanded their full assessment and dissection.

The morning recess was fine and fun.

It was nature that set things off.

After such an inspiring nature walk on Monday, fellow 3k teacher T and I were EAGER to go on walk number two.

Heck we even had all three 3k teacher's this time! What could go wrong? Gorgeous weather - experience - three teachers - manageable class sizes...

but the CHILDREN had OTHER ideas...

I have no clue what was up but they were nuts.

They. were. nuts.

There are times when one feeble adult may stand before a group of little children and find herself helpless no matter how much older than the children she is. This was one of those times... My demand for seriousness and safety was met with jeer and laughter and to be honest, conversations with friends... yes while I demanded attention, silence, staying with your partner, walking behind the teacher, staying away from snakes and such... the children decided this was the best time EVER to jump, cheer, giggle, talk, scream, and be attacked by fire-ants.

I developed a headache that had tears bustling behind my eyes. I sat them down in the middle of a sidewalk to help a fellow teaacher (we were all in this crazy children predicament trying to get them to just freakin' walk nicely back to class) when all the sudden blood curdling shrieks began.

Ohhhh yeah - if there was ever a day for someone to get actual ants in her pants, this was it. This was the moment. This was the time. Poor little baby getting her buttox eaten alive by ants while I try to strip her in the parking lot and tell the other children to sit down, get away from the ants, etcetera.

I suppose my fellow teachers didn't realize that I needed their help, but the reason we travel in age groups is to care for eachother in emergency. So it took a "A little help here please??!?!?!" screamed in their direction to get some assistance... I don't know if that angered them or not. I hope not. I just wanted that poor child's clothes off quicker ... I can't imagine being crawled over b y ants. Oh poor baby. : ( :( :(

Back in the classroom after the worst walking trip ever I had to rush to hand out lunch and set up nap mats... My head was in such pain; I'm coming down wiht some cold because I'm losing my voice; my throat was painfully raw; my blood sugar was gone and I was shaking... I lifted my eyes to God.

I thought: Elise... do what you'll wish you HAD done later on NOW. For once, be who you pray to be. Be who you would have yourself be.

I dropped the nap mats at my feet and marched to the CD player. Into the player went the Rock and Roll ABC's (which is great listening by the way) and as the music came pounding out as loud as seemed acceptable I yanked my two pearl bobby pins from my head, bent at the waist and shook my baby-fine hair out like a mad woman. It stuck and settled in all the wrong places and I began to boogie. I shook my hips, walked like a rapper, jumped up and down, made silly noises, and danced as I layed out the mats.

I probably don't need to elaborate much more at this point. My stress eased, my breathing settled, my headache floated away... my air of teacher dissipated and I melded into Elise - silly Miss Elise. I kept thinking how I loved my children. My girls sported sticking-out-in-all-the-wrong-places hairstyles all day long... as soon as Miss Elise shook out her rocker hair and began shaking her bootie, hair ribbons and ties everywhere flew from ponytails onto the floor. My faithful children mimicked me with awe.

Their eyes were wide and their joy at seeing something as silly and unexpected as Miss Elise dancing around like a loony was worth the fire ants and the water moccasin we had to run past...

The mood continued on through the evening and into the playground hours. Ooooh those playground hours. Do you know what little EmmaT demanded I do on the playground?? (This had Kiersten in stiches)... Emma told me to get on the dinosaur with her because we had to go to "Camel Fest". Yeah you read that right - CamelFest. AS in a Camel Festival I suppose????
'
So we ran from alligators, rode dinosaurs to a camel festival, and flittered in the sun like fairies at our recess.

When I climb and run and sit with the children, I learn more what their world looks and feels like. I also experience some of their simple joys.

When it was time to leave recess i felt disappointment... we'd been hving fun....

To be who you would like to have yourself be... to be who God would have you be...

Tonight at church, I buddied up wiht strangers for our little prayer groups at the end of the night. Praying in public used to be something I'd never do... then it became something I was scared to do... then it became something that I cherished... praying with a stranger, prayer - this private act, shared with someone - is still frightening... but faith dictates that God will intercede with words unknown when we are calling on his name...

I could have left before prayer meeting and I considered it. Then I considered what God would have of me - and it was different from what I had come up with.

It turns out today was profound.

But do you know what was most amazing of all? One thing after another - and no feeling of defeat or temper - but then at the end of the day as I stood and had introductions with the woman I had prayed with, I relayed to her which people in the church were my siblings and who my family was. She had been otu of town for months now nad asked if I had an older sister - told her no. She frowned in confusion then asked if I used to sit with another girl though, a really skinny girl. I was then confused and said no and we brushed it off, laughed and left.

As I walked to the car with Kiersten I did some calculations in my mind.

The last time hse'd seen me, about a year ago I guess, maybe a little less, I'd had long hair. Reddish hair. I'd been skinny. Kiresten next to me had had long brown hair.

I knew who that woman thought I used to sit with... she was thinking that skinny girl with the longer reddish hair was not me at all. Was my sister - older sister.

No... it was me... WAS me. That's not me anymore.

Isn't that beautiful?










New shoes. also beautiful.